Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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