Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
