The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
