It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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