Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
