sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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