I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
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And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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