Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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