Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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