just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize