We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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