I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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