Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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