If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
