She is in my trunk
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
