let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
