It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
