im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just come out here and I will go home with you...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
