I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
