Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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