I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Still dying that you shit outside
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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