i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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