Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
