he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
