i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
