Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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