I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize