Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
