i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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