How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize