Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize