I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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