it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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