if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
