Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
