I am spending my child support on dildos
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
