im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
