Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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