Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
