Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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