so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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