Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
