Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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