Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
