i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
