What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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