I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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