I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It's just like the Real World with babies
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
