sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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