After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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