Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
