I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
