i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
