i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
