trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize