My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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