We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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