Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
