I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
vagina is talking i cant
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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