Dual....:-)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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