What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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