There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
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Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
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Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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