is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
