Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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